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Double Vision
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Written by Jen Monday, 13 April 2009 23:57
Being a parent is the ultimate struggle. Being a mother gives one vision that is intuitive, yet often painful. I once read that only a mother can see a child at every age he/she ever was at a glance.I recently had that experience with one of my children. Upset by a number of obstacles, my son sat looking forlorn with his head in his hands. In one moment, I heard his infant cries and glimpsed his wispy toddler curls. I felt the warmth of his baby's body asleep in my arms, and watched myself pick him up after a tumble down the stairs. His chubby little arms wrapped around my neck as I squeezed him tightly and wiped away his tears. Oh, how I wanted to cradle that little boy once again and make everything better!
And yet, though I can offer a kiss, a hug, an encouraging word and a pat on the back, it is too late for anything more. My motherly affection is permitted only in socially acceptable doses. My son is searching for his own answers, wanting to make his own decisions and yes, making plenty of mistakes.
Watching a train wreck in slow motion might be easier than seeing the past and the future all at once.
We moms find ourselves wondering when to interfere, when to step away and when to just observe. Standing firm in our convictions and our expectations is oftentimes gut-wrenching. And like our children, we make mistakes. We sometimes say the wrong thing, make the wrong choice and mess things up royally.
What to do then? Well, clean up the debris; admit our shortcomings and say yet another prayer for guidance...then pay attention to the divine voice rather than the sounds of those around us. Listen more and react less impulsively.
Once a week I meet with Moms in Touch at my church to pray for our children, our families, our community and our world. The needs of our children and our hopes for their future are the catalysts that prompt our small circle to gather despite the weather, packed schedules, illness and malaise. These friends are my parenting barometer. They inspire in me the wish to do better and the strength to yield control to the One who truly makes no error, whose vision is perfect.
Holy Week Reflection
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Written by Jen Wednesday, 08 April 2009 14:23
Sunday's spring weather gave way to storms and chilly temperatures. A to-do list as long as my arm sits in front of me and all I can do is stare out the open window and embrace the cool breeze wafting in with a slight mist. All of it can wait. It's time to think and to pray.This is Holy Week. How fitting it is that the storms should now come. It's a time for self-reflection, for purging, for preparation, for forgiveness, for hope.
Chasing Wisdom
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Written by Jen Tuesday, 31 March 2009 13:25
You catch a ball, a cold, a flight, the train, a bus, a glimpse or the wind. So how come we can't catch wisdom?It was a childish dream, but I thought if perhaps I just stood close to my father, some of his wisdom would pass to me. Maybe I could absorb some of his measured thoughts, his inspired judgment. I begged for some help from my dad, who always has something of substance to offer when asked about raising children, but never shares advice without being asked.
"I'm not Solomon," he said gently.
"What?" I wanted to scream. "Then can you please go get him ‘cause we're drowning here." But Dad just said he would give it some thought.
Also a childish whim, I used to think wisdom would certainly arrive once I reached the magical age of 40. Yes, then I would be wise, indeed. Come and gone and I'm still waiting.
So I turned to my favorite Catholic Study Bible (The New American Bible). "The wise person is the one who can adequately assess the demands of a situation and who is experienced and flexible enough to behave in a way that is appropriate to that particular situation," write the editors and contributors when introducing the Wisdom Books (Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Song of Songs, Wisdom, and Sirach). Sounds simple enough, yet humans sought this gift well before biblical scholars delved into its meaning.
Wisdom remains allusive to me, particularly when it comes to reacting to my children's growing pains and errors, great and small. But I have faith that what I have told them remains true. You are affected by the company you keep. Have wise friends and associations and you absorb goodness. Spend your time with those lacking judgment and values and you get that too. Be a leader, not a follower. Have a backbone. Pray.
So it's really not proximity to the wise that matters, it is the opportunity to practice what you observe. Tough it is, indeed, for nothing worth obtaining comes easily.
Momshell Madness
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Written by Jen Wednesday, 25 March 2009 02:35
Looking good behind the wheel was not tops on my list this morning. This weekend I finally succumbed to the virus that spread through my family earlier this month. Two days with a fever has left me tired and pale. As I glanced in the mirror, I actually considered making the short trip to my daughter's school in my bathrobe.
Honoring Mom
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Written by Jen Thursday, 19 March 2009 01:34
Today I had a glimpse of the Divine in the ordinary words of a friend.She just returned from caring for her disabled mother. Felled by a stroke in October, this amazing woman is struggling to return to the life she once knew. Each of her children take turns staying with her for days at a time, leaving families and jobs to travel hours to come to her aid. In today's busy world, this alone is phenomenal.
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