A Mom by Any Other Name
Written by Jen Friday, 28 May 2010 13:04
Blog
The boy never studied for a spelling test in his life and yet he doesn't know how to spell his mother's name. It's the most ironic of injustices, yet one that truly explains every mom's somewhat invisible position. This realization was dramatic for me as my son filled out a summer volunteer form yesterday and handed it to me to sign. He had written "Jenniffer" beside "mother's name." Maybe it was an innocent oversight. So I called to him in the next room. "Hey, how do you spell my name?"
Pause. (I recognized this as a silent "uh oh.")
"Jenniffer"
"Try again."
"Jeniffer"
It wasn't a fluke. He has no idea. I sighed.
"Jenifer?"
Oh my. This child is in high school. I guess I forgot to show him this significant word, or maybe the parenting books omitted something (just how much is another topic for another day). We taught them their names, addresses, phone numbers, parents' cell numbers and employment location. They know their family history and even a birthday or two. They know how to quantify pi. But don't ask how to spell mom's name.
Is this not important information?
My sister-in-law recently complained that her son didn't think she did anything for him. "Really?" she sarcastically responded as she made dinner, planned a birthday party, prepared work papers for the next day and painstakingly prepared her son's dress clothes for a special event. Simultaneously.
Ten years later this little guy may not know how to spell this woman's name, and here's why: We are all MOM. One word fits us all. Though individuals in many senses, we share an identity, a mammoth role and a heart bit enough to overlook our children's sometimes painful oversights. The stuff we do, the nitty-gritty everyday labor, is largely invisible to them and it probably will be until they have to do it all themselves.
My advice to my sister-in-law, however, is to show her son her name in writing. Make him practice it. And while she is at it, have him spell out his aunt's name. Maybe he can teach his cousin. It's J e n n i f e r.
But I'll answer to "Mom."
