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calling Mom friendly phones
By Jen Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Blog
Yesterday, my husband and teenage son chose a new cell phone for me. Now I take full blame for my own absence in this instance. I had a choice: stay at home and enjoy my two hours of peace while they examined every last feature with the infamously unfriendly cell phone representative, or go with them and try to look interested and intelligent enough to understand all the gibberish. Guess which option I chose?
And so you can imagine what I did last night. I feigned interest while they ooed and aahhhed over this little light-up piece of plastic with features I will never use. Seriously, they told me all I had to do was "read the little instruction book" (it was at least 12 pages long with endless diagrams). I can tell you that glossy pamplet makes a great bookmark.
The sad thing is, they said they chose this because Consumer Reports (a revered resource in our household) claims it is very easy to use, even for techno-flunkies like me. Well, perhaps they didn't use those terms exactly but that's how it was interpreted in this household. Obviously, these people don't know me.
See, I know how to dial and push "send." I also know how to answer, hang up and use the phone charger in my car. Most of the time, I can successfully text my son and tell him where to be and when. And when he tells me his plans have changed, I can type in "K" (like the cool mom I sometimes pretend to be) or "No," when I'm just being myself. I cannot create a contact list, which I understand is rather pathetic. Neither can I check the weather nor take a clear photo with this gadget. But honestly, if it can't tell me where I left my car keys, I'm not interested. And PLEEEASE don't tell me it's a "chocolate" when I can't eat it. That's just cruel.
Please tell me I'm not alone. Is there a real mom out there who cares all that much about her ring tone choices? If you're impressed by someone's cell phone, please let me know! I truly want to meet you, particularly if you're over the age of 30. In my opinion, if your "wallpaper" is something you spend more than 1 second choosing, then you need immediate counseling. My family chose mine: it's the photo of the family "college fund" bank (which now contains about $20 in small bills and dimes). I think this is some sort of subliminal message because our real savings appears to be going toward these bizarre gadgets.
When the people-who-invent-cell-phones invent one that will microwave a meatloaf, drive to football practice and clean the toilet, let me know. I'll be the first mom in line. Until then, I'll enjoy my chocolate the old-fashioned way.
