Career

How to Live Your Career With Intent

By Julie Bauke

Career

How many times have you been at a party and someone innocently asks, “So what do you do?” Many of us mothers hesitate because we wear so many hats. If you left a career to raise your children at home, this can be a particularly uncomfortable question. But we all know that our children will grow up and we’ll be faced with the reality of using our time and talents for many (hopefully) more years. Do you have a plan? Are you happy with what you’re doing now? Do you want to make a change or rejoin the work force? I’ve talked with enough mothers to know that many are unsettled about their future and uncertain about their career path. What to do? Here are ten ways to get you on track and help you stay there.

Understand it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

How you define yourself professionally and the paths you choose to pursue most likely will vary as you go through different stages in your life. What worked for you at 25 and single may not work at 35, with three kids under the age of nine, or at 45 with those kids thinking Ivy League. And just because you leave the “paid career market” doesn’t mean you can’t return, better than ever!

Without a Vision, you have no vision.

Develop a vision for your career. Re-visit and revise as necessary. Remember that annoying question you were asked at on-campus interviews: “Where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years?” Now is the time to be answering that question. If you can’t come up with an answer, how do you ever plan on getting there?

Build relationships relentlessly.

Notice I didn’t say network? Women are naturally better at reaching out and building relationships, but men seem to be better at it in a work context. Both men and women need to build skills in both arenas. Look for ways to help others get where they want to go and most will respond in kind. (But only if you have developed that vision thing for your own career...see #2!)

In the wrong Job? Fix it before someone else does.

Hate your job? Guess what…your boss probably knows it. If you get anxious on Sunday nights and find yourself hoping for the flu, it’s time to take charge and find the right job. And if you don’t, your name may end up at the top of the list when costs need to be cut. If you’re not passionate about your work, it shows. We all deserve to feel that passion for the stuff we do during most of our waking hours. And if you leave your job to stay home for awhile, use that time wisely; really figure out what you want to be as you return to the career market. We can reinvent ourselves as many times as we need or choose!

Decide where to direct your energy, then do it.

Work Life? Community life? Spiritual life? Family life? Love life? Self life? We have a lot of lives, but only so much time and energy. Decide where you want to focus. What combination gives you that spark? Neglecting one area that is primary for you will cause you to be less than effective in all others. Find that magic, but very personal, mix. It will take some trial and error, and that “magic mix” will change as your life changes, but the results are truly worth the effort. Just talk to someone who has found a way to do it. Their passion is palpable, enviable, and worth finding for yourself.

Plan, plan, plan…Even if you think it’s not possible.

We all know what they say about the best laid plans. So what? Plan anyway. And work toward making those plans a reality on a consistent basis. If you dream of owning a bed-and-breakfast someday, start gathering information, connecting to resources and learning all you can right now. Whether you are at home with your children, working part time, or fully immersed in an all consuming job, you MUST take the time to consider your next move. It’s no longer optional.

Companies have boards of directors…so should you!

Maybe you already have one. I’m talking about a group of people who are your staunchest allies, your most enthusiastic supporters…but also your most straight talking confidants, people with whom you have mutual respect as well as an unrelenting desire to help each other get where you each want to go. (See #2 again!)

Put yourself in positions to succeed.

If numbers aren’t your thing, don’t volunteer to be the treasurer of the United Way campaign. Only volunteer for situations in which you can shine. And if asked to be treasurer, be confident enough to decline, but follow up by asking how else you can help. (Note: Offer only if that opportunity fits in with what you’ve decided in #5.)

Get used to thinking of yourself as a “product.”

Everything you do, everything you know, everything you can do, is all a part of You the Product. Get comfortable with that concept. Develop You the Product relentlessly. If You the Product become obsolete because you weren’t paying attention, the road back to marketability can be long and hard. For moms who have chosen to stay home, it is imperative that you stay on top of your profession, your industry, technology, etc. Time does not stand still until you’re ready to reenter the job market. Future potential employers want to see that you continue to take your professional self seriously.

Know yourself.

One sign of true professional maturity is your ability and willingness to say “Here I am. Here’s what I’m good at, here’s what I’m not so good at, here’s what I’m better at than anyone you know!” Stand in front of the mirror and try that. I know, it feels weird. But remember, if it’s true, it ain’t braggin’!

Julie Bauke is a career coach and founder of Congruity Career Consulting in Loveland, Ohio. She has extensive experience in training and coaching individuals and groups to build their networking skills and take charge of their careers. For more about Julie and Congruity’s services, email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .