Off to College: Tips From Students Who've Been There, Done That

Written by Maggie Malach

Parenting

The college search is grueling but we can all relax once that acceptance letter arrives. Right? Not quite yet, Mom. The decision-making process is far from over, and the adjustment to independent life has just begun.

To make the first days of your child's freshman year easier for all of you, I was asked to seek advice from my peers, experienced college students in large, small, public and private universities throughout the Midwest. What do they wish they had known to ease the stress of this crucial transition?

What follows are our tips on what to bring, what to leave behind, and how to adjust to this exciting new world away from home. If you have advice to add, please write to me by emailing Editor@InspiredMother.com.

 

Moving In

• Don't overpack. Cat, a junior at a private Ohio school, found that bringing more items from home did not necessarily make her tiny dorm room any more comfortable, although it did make it more crowded!

• Paying to move in early is not necessarily a good deal. While you may gain the advantage of easy, close parking, you also get a few big disadvantages: dorms without air conditioning, limited campus services (you gotta eat),and no help from upperclassmen who often volunteer to assist students moving in. If you're settling into a high rise dorm, however, moving in a few days early "saves a lot of hassle" says Kevin, an Ohio State University sophomore. When you have to wait for an elevator to transport your gear up 23 floors, you'll appreciate the ability to "move in on your own time," he laughs.

• ALWAYS HAVE DUCT TAPE! You'll be surprised at how it will come in handy.

• Plan a shopping trip after you arrive at school for food and personal care products. This can save a lot of space when packing the car.

• Do not expect to be best friends with a roommate! While most schools try to match up students according to interests and lifestyle, this should not be a promise of a lifelong friendship.

• Students should discuss the rules for overnight visitors at the beginning of the year. Hannah, a junior at the University of Cincinnati, didn't think that this issue would be a problem until her roommate got a boyfriend halfway through freshman year. Eventually, the boyfriend spent more time in the room than the roommate, which made for an awkward-and avoidable-- situation.

Adjusting

• Know how to operate a washing machine! (Yeah, doing laundry does take some practice, best left to days before you're on your own.)

• Try to connect with people from your hometown who attend the same school. These connections can be useful for car pooling, learning the fastest routes to school, or answering any questions first-year students may have. One easy way to find people who live nearby is to check bulletin board postings, usually at the student union on campus. Most schools have a place where students can offer rides home or request them.

• Hunger strikes at all hours, so find out what time the dining halls and other venues stop serving for the evening. "Do this by the end of the first week," says Kevin, who apparently learned this lesson the hard way.                         
  
• Parents, give your kids some space as they adjust to college life. Katie, a veteran college mom (she has sent three children off to school in recent years), discovered that her son needed time to go it alone. "I gave him space (not calling all the time, just once or twice over the course of the semester.) When we did speak, I subtly let him know that I missed him and loved him."
  She adds, "Give 'em space and support, but don't do it for them."
• To help moms and dads prepare for this breakaway year, Linda recommends A Parent's Guide to Understanding The College Years, by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger. This Ohio mom sent her daughter off to college last year and wished she had read the book sooner. "It really explains the whole emancipation process which begins the year before," she notes.

Socializing

• Halloween provides a great opportunity to meet people and have a great time, says one creative junior. Plan on buying or making a Halloween costume, or risk missing out on one of the most fun nights of the year, recommends Brian. Most students can't afford to buy costumes, so it is always interesting to see what they can throw together. Some easy DIY suggestions: Thing 1 and Thing 2, Ninja Turtles, or "period" costumes, such as hippies or flappers.
• Make friends with strangers the first day. Most students do not know anyone else; everyone is new, making this the ideal time to make friends.
• Students should not be afraid to follow their interests and passions. Though it can be intimidating to try out for a team or a join a group with others who are a lot more experienced, these opportunities can be a huge part of the college experience! An avid thespian in high school, Erin was hesitant to audition for any plays her freshman year of college because of the experienced people already involved with the drama department. She gathered up the courage to audition sophomore year, however, and had a great experience. Now a junior, she admits she missed out that first year. "I regret being too nervous to get involved earlier," she says.
• When it comes to dating, use common sense. Kevin points out that it is best to avoid dating students who live on the same floor of your dorm "cause that'll get awkward."
• Attend as many sporting events or musical performances as possible. These are a great way to become exposed to everything a school has to offer!
• Don't be afraid to participate in activities on campus, such as Relay for Life (one of my favorites) or an intramural sport. This is one of the best ways for a student to learn more about himself and his peers.

Acing Academics

• Reapply for scholarships. Often the amount offered increases after the first year based upon good grades.
• Find a good place to study that is NOT your room.
• Utilize any and all resources that the university offers such as career services and counseling, major-specific programs, and advising. Take the initiative to find these and use them because though these resources may not be advertised, chances are they are available.
• Avoid buying books from the campus bookstore if possible. Prices tend to be inflated on campus. Half.com and amazon.com are two great websites that sell textbooks at great prices.
• Go to class before buying any books. Sometimes, professors will tell you a text is optional or that you do not need it at all. Also, pay attention to the time frame for returning a textbook for a full refund, in case you do buy it and do not end up using it. This should be posted at the bookstore during the prime buying periods.
• If possible, purchase a laptop. Kevin notes that students who are tied to less portable computers find it tougher to do group projects. "This tends to make people anti-social," he observes.
• Study during the day, not after 11:00 at night or in the morning before class to avoid fatigue and distractions (like sleep).

Although college can be intimidating at first, there is no reason why every student cannot have a fantastic experience, even as a rookie. While students are eager to share advice about the nitty-gritty details of dorm life and making friends, one tip-one request actually-- kept resurfacing among more seasoned college students: Parents, support your child whole-heartedly in all of his or her endeavors. This is the time when they will transform into the person that you raised them to be.

Maggie Malach is a junior at the University of Dayton and the Opinions Editor for Flyer News.