The Curse of the Droid

Written by Jen Friday, 16 July 2010 00:00

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Some say it's a hot cell phone. My kids are drooling over it. I am resisting the recurrent urge to chuck it out the window.

I detest the newest piece of technology that my husband thinks is the greatest thing since the microwave (which, by the way, I didn't fully accept until 1995). Maybe it's the fact that answering a call requires two hands because it has to be "unlocked" (leaving me screaming "I'M HERE!" at the keypad while the people at the post office stare and quickly look for the security cameras). Or perhaps I dislike that it takes me 20 minutes to text "Where are you?" to my son. Then again, it may be those obnoxious commercials that make it look so easy to use. No, I think I hit rock bottom two nights ago when this oversized hunk of neon kept turning itself on, and in the wee morning hours greeted me-repeatedly--with the space-age belch "DROID." This, by the way, is a not-so-subtle message that someone has sent me an email. Like I care at 2:00 a.m.

My husband thought my irritation infinitely funny for about three seconds. I told him immediately that the Star Wars voice thing had to go. And if he kept laughing, he was going, too.

I never wanted this robot. Deal or no deal, does anyone really need a strobe-light app? And that UPC scanning feature? If my husband scans one more box of cereal and gives me the price options at outlets throughout the country...



My frustration is becoming a source of infinite amusement in my family. My kids claim that "DROID" is a curse word in our household these days. I can't say the word without a sneer and an eye roll.

Both of my sons begged their dad to hand over the technology to someone who really appreciates it. Like them. That didn't work, of course, because I will learn to love this little gadget that can get me instant directions, help me answer important client emails efficiently and translate weather alerts. That last one is important. Today I found out it was sunny outside just by pushing a button.

Ok, I did watch the trailer for tomorrow night's The Jensen Project http://familymoments.walmart.com/the-jensen-project on my cell phone. That was kinda cool. And when I couldn't find a mattress cover for an extra-long dorm bed, I decided to find out just how long that is (80 inches, by the way) by Googling it on my phone while I was in the store. Then I called my husband and proudly told him about my success.

And he laughed.