What can I do to become somebody special?

Written by Father Lou Guntzelman

Inspiration

The parade of life goes by.

And as we see the celebrities, athletes and entertainers getting big bucks and applause, and politicians in the limelight, and inventors famous for doing something great - don't we sometimes feel small?  We're just the nondescript watchers on the sidewalk.

We can feel so ordinary even though we work hard, fulfill our responsibilities, try to deepen our relationships, and love others as best we can.

In our realistic moments, however, we're willing to acknowledge that it isn't our occupation or how well-known we are that defines us. Our worth is determined by what we become as a person.

But still many of us question at times, "How can I count more? How can my life be significant?"

How? It's said there are three general ways to validate our existence.

They are: What we give to the world; what we take from the world; and the position we take in the face of things we cannot change.

1) What we give to the world means our "creative contributions." The possibilities are countless. They can be as intangible as offering compassion, empathy, understanding, fidelity and fairness to others. But who thinks of those qualities as giving to the world? Or, it can be through other diverse talents we put in service of others - as a cook, artist, musician, medical personnel, teacher, a counselor who is able to listen to the heart.

The greatest contribution we can ever give is that which is the highest potential of a human being - love. The delusion that we're "really somebody" because we get applause is really off-base. Applause can sometimes be the salve we crave for a fragile - rather than a healthy - ego.

2) What we take from the world can be called our "experiential receptivity." Our heart and soul are meant to be moved and expanded by the beauty and love that surround us, just as they are to be expanded by the vicissitudes that come our way. We can be enlarged by finding meaning in our lives by struggling through suffering and problems (wisdom); by accepting and surrendering to our humanness (humility; by appreciating the love offered us (gratitude).

Think of the personal enrichment possible through art, beauty, music, nature, animals and other experiences offered to us. No one who opens themselves to living the mysteries of life can continue to feel small.

3) The third way of expanding our imagined insignificance is the "attitudinal factor." It is the attitude, or frame of mind, that we take in the face of things we cannot change. Certainly, there are many situations in life that we have the ability to change - if only we have the courage and insight to do so.

Yet, as the years pass, they effectively teach us that there are many situations over which we have no control - such as aging, physical and mental changes, tragedies, rejection, the loss of the love of another, our job, the empty nest, illnesses and death. How we handle them makes all the difference.

Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl writes of those facing unalterable situations:

"The way in which one accepts, the way in which one bears his or her cross, the courage one manifests in suffering, the dignity we display in doom and disaster - is the measure of one's fulfillment."

The inner battles we fight are the important and formative ones.

They are the ones no one else knows or values adequately, the ones for which no applause rings out, or no cameras go off. Yet, they are the ones that can make us pure gold.

What we give to the world, what we take from the world, and the attitude we take in the face of things we cannot change; A person who succeeds in these things is always a person of significance.

Father Lou Guntzelman is a Catholic priest of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati. Reach him at columns@communitypress.com.