Wishful Thinking

Written by Jen Thursday, 19 February 2009 02:52

Blog

My hope for the future: Someday when I am old and gray(er), one of my children is going to announce to me that I was right. I don't care what he or she thinks I am right about-politics, religion, the wall color or the weather--I just want to know that a child of mine actually believes I am correct in a single assertion about something.

This is all my fault, of course. I wanted my children to have their own opinions, develop their own tastes and stand up for their values. Alright, I admit that I really did think that most of the above would jive with my own. In reality, my offspring (primarily the two oldest) have thoughts that often diverge from mine. Moreover, they delight in verbal sparring with me while their father stands aside and looks amused.

And we do this daily.

A recent exchange about relationships and marriage:

Son: People can change.

Mom: Well, to a point, but by the time you're an adult your personality is formed. You don't marry someone and expect that person to change.

Son: No. People DO change. They do. This is a fact, Mom.

Mom: Hopefully a couple grows and changes together. That's good change. But you can't change someone's nature.

Son: I disagree.

Mom: When you're older you'll understand what I'm saying.

Son: No I won't.

I close my eyes and breathe. Deeply.

Enter yet another child who cheerfully announces that he wants to learn to play the electric guitar.

Mom: You should learn to play the acoustic guitar first.

Son: Why?

Mom: Because it makes sense. It's quieter and we have one already. Ask your sister to teach you.

Son: I don't think it matters which one I learn first.

I open my mouth to speak and stop. Not falling for this again. If but for a moment, I feel triumph in silence.

Addendum: My sons want IM readers to know that they disagree with the very premise for this post and insist that they DO agree with me on some things.